Lovespoons

When I visited Wales in 1999, I bought a Welsh traditional lovespoon (below). A few years later, I added another one to my collection. The lovespoon is a wooden spoon decoratively carved; its history goes back to the mid 1600's. A young man would create it as a gift of love. Each spoon is decorated with a wide variety of symbols, and creating one would demonstrate that the young man had the skill to provide for a family. Each symbol on the spoon would have a specific meaning; bells for a happy marriage, a cross for blessed union, hearts for love, a horseshoe for good luck, a double spoon for togetherness, a lock for security etc... I instantly fell in love with a simple lovespoon with some hearts :)

my lovespoons
©i-ADNES

During the 794-1185 (Heian period) in Japan, polygame was common. Upper-class women would keep indoors, and commonly hide their faces from the men's gaze. They talk through a screen or hide her face by fan. If a man heard good of a woman and was interested in her, he would peek through the fence to glimpse her, and would send love letters and poems to her. To be successful, a man would need polished writing skills and a good sense for love. A man visited his lady's house for three nights in a row, it meant getting married to her. If he couldn't manage three nights, it was like a one-night stand. The ideal wife possessed these qualities:

• Nobility
• Good looks
• Good personality
• Well-educated (literacy and performance skill)
• Ability to be a good mother

The ideal husband possessed these qualities:

• Nobility
• Artistic ability
• Academic excellence
• Faithful
• Having promotion opportunities
• Good personality

It was likely that men were often surprised or disappointed in their woman because she wasn’t his type; after all, he can’t see her clearly until he met her in person - by candlelight or moonlight! It was a kind of blind date! He would have had to form a mental image of her. In the historical novel 'Tale of Genji', the chapter ‘Suetsumuhana’ describes how the woman Suetsumuhana was quite unattractive and extremely shy. The amorous prince Genji fell in love because of her beautiful voice and the way she plays the musical instrument - but when he saw her in person, he was surprised because she had a ugly hook nose and that of red with cold. Can you guess what happened next? Genji fell out of love and Suetsumuhana had a crush on him, but he suppoted her life by a feeling of pity.


kai-awase (the illustratted story from 'Genji', the chapter ‘Suetsumuhana’)
It's the toy that women in the court played with.
it was said that the shells were good for their marriage life,
because each shell has only one partner.
©i-ADNES

Anyway, even after a man and woman got married, they didn’t live together; the man had to commute her house. What a stressful life for a woman! They didn’t have the right to choose their husbands and to ask for a divorce, but despite this I think women at that time were basically happy. People didn't live long, and didn't have many amusements like today, so having a romance must have been much more exciting and wonderful. It’s wonderful for every generation, though.

Although the styles of expression of love are different, I like to get in touch with the souls of ancient people through traditional things.