Become The Person One Wishes To Be

What did you want to be when you were small? Florist? Veterinary surgeon? Pilot? To tell the truth, I had no dreams. It was uncomfortable when I had to write about own dreams for the future at school. But when I was 12 or 13 years old, after seeing English language films, I had a strong interest in English and had a vague dream. I wanted to jump into abroad immediately to learn English and English culture. At that time, it was not easy to study abroad; the yen was much cheaper, information was limited because of no Internet and above all my parents, hadn't been aware of such a global idea. Later, when my mother attended the conference of her company, she realised that with promotion of globalisation, English education would be more important to create truly international people. I have really appreciated her, because she always supported me in learning English.

It was about ten years later, I actually visited the UK. It was a very exciting event and I promised myself that I would come back again. After I became a member of society, I travelled to some countries with my own money. I got married and once I buried my vague dream, but dredged up it again after the divorce. Even after you become an adult, it's not too late to make your dream come true. When I decided to study English abroad, it was also true that I received negative opinions from colleagues, friends and relatives. They said 'I had better not go', 'They weren't able to understand why I need to learn English abroad and it was too late.' or 'I should come back down to earth'. This time as well, my mother strengthened my push to go.

Perhaps their advice was right or perhaps not. It's your choice. I had some difficulties in my early 30's, not only jobs but also mentally and physically. For that reason, I had lived in too comfortable a style, spoiled myself for years and made a defensive response. I started to think that I need to see a deeper reality. But I had tried to do a little bit of English every day, otherwise I felt fear of losing my identity which I had created for a long time.

And now, I live in the UK. The international marriage was not my expectation, but as a result, something I wanted became a reality. It was a bit hard to lift myself up from my easy environment though... Some my friends said that international marriage and living in the UK would be just like me to do that. It was my choice. Life is not easy wherever you live, but it was my choice. I believe that everybody in an international marriage has mentally prepared in many ways. Now I want to be the person I wish to be, healthy and neat, step by step, before I die.

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